Day-59, Lockdown

Day-59, Lockdown

I’m back in square 1. No, now I’m in square -1, I’ve just fallen back. All these days I was trying to improve my perspective, my opinion and it was starting to work. And, now suddenly I feel like I’m surrounded by negative energy. I feel restless, ready to burst into tears. 

But, I don’t know why this is happening. There was no change in my environment, no change in my routine, then what’s wrong? Yesterday, I was feeling very depressed and so I redecorated my room. For some reason I felt elevated and peaceful.

Nowadays I’m waking up at noon, and I feel very refreshed, but at night I can’t sleep till 2 in the morning. My parents have to wake up early every morning, so we go to sleep at 11:30. I keep tossing and turning around till early morning, when I am finally able to catch some sleep. And its like an endless cycle of sleeping late, and waking up late.

Does sleeping in cause anxiety? Maybe, because that is the only reasonable explanation I can give for this sudden change in mood. Though, I am feeling much better today.

Let me tell you my routine for everyday, so you can decide how unhealthy  my lifestyle is on a scale from 1 to 10. I wake up at noon, then I make my bed. Then I brush my teeth and take a bath. Till that time its already one ‘o clock, and its lunch time. So I finish my lunch till 2 o’clock, and then I study a bit till 3:00. From 3:00 to 5:30 I watch a  movie. At 5:30 its tea time, then I do whatever I want from 5:30 till 8 in the evening. I can help my mom do the chores or do something productive like write this blog. Then its dinner time till 10:30. Then, at night, 10:30 – 11:30 I read a book or surf through my phone. Finally 11: 30 is lights out and then its tossing and turning time. At 2 o’clock my eyes droop and I fall asleep.

This is the same routine I follow everyday, I know lots of things are wrong with it. But, there’s nothing else to do! During normal summer vacations, I would play with my friends or go swimming, and during this time of the month I would never be in pune. I would be travelling to my relatives’ house or going to new places with my parents.

1 thought on “Day-59, Lockdown

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      The worst feeling ever is when one thinks where one has just adjusted to life & things go back to like square one! Actually, there is no such thing as “Going back to square one.” Even if one feels like one is having to start over again, one is trying again with more knowledge, strength & power than one had before. Your journey was never over, it was just waiting for you to find it again. God Bless & keep writing.

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