We are getting close to day 50, and I am not so excited. I am doing my best to slow down time to hold on. But, anyways I have something different to talk about.
We aren’t allowed to leave our society, but we are allowed to order groceries. So, the person who delivers the groceries comes to the gate, drops off the stuff and goes. The customers come, and take the groceries. So, today my dad told me to come to the gate with him. I rejected his offer, I didn’t want to step outside the house until we could walk out without any masks on, no precautions…
I know it sounds stupid, but its just a little pledge I had taken. Like I had said earlier, I can’t bear to face the truth, and going out of my house, seeing other people with masks, trying to socially distance themselves makes it seem just that much more real.
But, my dad was stubborn (like me), he dragged me out of the house, and when we stepped inside the elevator he offered me a mask. I took it, but didn’t wear it. I couldn’t and I didn’t want to. We sat in our car and drove towards the gate. According to my dad if we travel with car there will be much less chances of contact with other people. We stopped at the gate, and looking at that closed barricade somehow shook me out of my daze. I have never seen the entrance of the society closed, it looked so wired, so out of place.
I was glad there was nobody but the delivery person and a few security guards around. Not because, I didn’t want them to see me, but because I didn’t want to see them.
It felt weird, and for no reason at all very creepy. Empty place, empty roads. There was always someone strolling in our society, but now it felt barren and cold. And, in that forty degree weather a chill ran down my spine.
When I reached home, my parents said they noticed some change in me. They thought that somehow I seemed happier. What they didn’t know was what brought the change. It wasn’t the fact that I had seen the society after six weeks but it was the irrational fear that managed to creep in me.
Maybe, somewhere deep within I knew this would happen and so I didn’t want to step out. I just realised something, I know I can’t change reality, but by not going outside I was trying to ignore it…